What
Not to Do at the Airport
If the cost of admission to the latest comedic blockbuster
is too much for your budget, we know a place where the laughs are free for the
taking: the world's airports.
Fliers have pulled some seriously funny moves over the years in attempting to check in for flights, clear security and customs, or board a plane -- from trying to smuggle odd items through checkpoints to throwing ill-advised fits that landed them in the hospital or jail.
Few were successful. Most were regrettably stupid. Hollywood scriptwriters couldn't even dream half of this stuff up.
Wild Rides!
A 78-year-old woman said she misunderstood instructions from a check-in agent at Stockholm's Arlanda International Airport in 2008. Instead of placing her luggage onto a baggage chute, as instructed, she plopped herself down on it! Reclining on the conveyer belt of the unmanned chute like a tray in a cafeteria dishwasher, she traveled to the baggage handling area before someone rescued her. Unhurt, she made her flight to Germany.
Other airport conveyer belt joy riders were less innocent. Two New Jersey teens on a church volunteer trip got busted at New Orleans' Louis Armstrong International Airport in 2008 for riding a luggage conveyor belt past security and into a "sterile" area. A Columbia University researcher was caught in 2010 for the same offense -- riding the luggage carousel at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York after being denied entry into the TSA screening area because he didn't have a photo ID.
Dumb and Dumber!
The dumbest thing we think anyone ever tried to get through security and carry onto a plane? A fully gassed-up power chainsaw. The second-dumbest thing? A dead relative in a wheelchair (to avoid paying the fee for transporting a body).
And in 2006, a 29-year-old man carrying a grenade-shaped item preferred to fib to TSA agents and say it was a bomb rather than admit in front of his mother that it was a part to a sexual enhancement device.
(Honorable mention goes to the chap who attempted to bring a alarm clock shaped like dynamite sticks.)
Diamond in the Rough!
we love this gem: A U.S. citizen traveling from Tel Aviv in 2008 told authorities at John F. Kennedy International Airport that he had nothing to declare. His definition of nothing? More than $1.2 million in diamonds.
Better Late Than Never -- Seriously!
Fliers have pulled some seriously funny moves over the years in attempting to check in for flights, clear security and customs, or board a plane -- from trying to smuggle odd items through checkpoints to throwing ill-advised fits that landed them in the hospital or jail.
Few were successful. Most were regrettably stupid. Hollywood scriptwriters couldn't even dream half of this stuff up.
Wild Rides!
A 78-year-old woman said she misunderstood instructions from a check-in agent at Stockholm's Arlanda International Airport in 2008. Instead of placing her luggage onto a baggage chute, as instructed, she plopped herself down on it! Reclining on the conveyer belt of the unmanned chute like a tray in a cafeteria dishwasher, she traveled to the baggage handling area before someone rescued her. Unhurt, she made her flight to Germany.
Other airport conveyer belt joy riders were less innocent. Two New Jersey teens on a church volunteer trip got busted at New Orleans' Louis Armstrong International Airport in 2008 for riding a luggage conveyor belt past security and into a "sterile" area. A Columbia University researcher was caught in 2010 for the same offense -- riding the luggage carousel at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York after being denied entry into the TSA screening area because he didn't have a photo ID.
Dumb and Dumber!
The dumbest thing we think anyone ever tried to get through security and carry onto a plane? A fully gassed-up power chainsaw. The second-dumbest thing? A dead relative in a wheelchair (to avoid paying the fee for transporting a body).
And in 2006, a 29-year-old man carrying a grenade-shaped item preferred to fib to TSA agents and say it was a bomb rather than admit in front of his mother that it was a part to a sexual enhancement device.
(Honorable mention goes to the chap who attempted to bring a alarm clock shaped like dynamite sticks.)
Diamond in the Rough!
we love this gem: A U.S. citizen traveling from Tel Aviv in 2008 told authorities at John F. Kennedy International Airport that he had nothing to declare. His definition of nothing? More than $1.2 million in diamonds.
Better Late Than Never -- Seriously!
What should you do if you're running late for a flight? Why, phone in a fake
bomb threat, of course. That's what a German sports reporter did when he was
racing to catch a plane to go cover a 2008 soccer match. His plan might have
worked if he didn't give himself away by calling to inquire about the
yet-to-be-announced delay.
A woman tried a similar scheme in 2009 when her boss in Miami was behind schedule for his flight to Honduras. She followed up a bomb threat telephone call with an e-mail, which was later traced.
***(Both were arrested)***
Fashion Police!
A pair of ultra-chic Christian Louboutin spiked shoes owned by music producer and performer Taz Arnold raised eyebrows when they went through an X-ray machine at Dulles International Airport last January. They were ultimately let through -- as were Lady Gaga's handcuffs, at Los Angeles International Airport in 2010.
Yet in 2008, a traveler at Heathrow International Airport wasn't allowed to board a flight until he changed T-shirts. The offensive image emblazoned on his chest? A gun-toting character from the animated TV show and film "Transformers."
While we admit that a grown man should have better fashion sense, since when did TSA agents turn into the "Project Runway" judges?
Smuggler's Blues!
there are hundreds of ways people have tried to smuggle illegal drugs through security. Props to these five foolish rubes for their dim yet entertaining creativity:
A woman tried a similar scheme in 2009 when her boss in Miami was behind schedule for his flight to Honduras. She followed up a bomb threat telephone call with an e-mail, which was later traced.
***(Both were arrested)***
Fashion Police!
A pair of ultra-chic Christian Louboutin spiked shoes owned by music producer and performer Taz Arnold raised eyebrows when they went through an X-ray machine at Dulles International Airport last January. They were ultimately let through -- as were Lady Gaga's handcuffs, at Los Angeles International Airport in 2010.
Yet in 2008, a traveler at Heathrow International Airport wasn't allowed to board a flight until he changed T-shirts. The offensive image emblazoned on his chest? A gun-toting character from the animated TV show and film "Transformers."
While we admit that a grown man should have better fashion sense, since when did TSA agents turn into the "Project Runway" judges?
Smuggler's Blues!
there are hundreds of ways people have tried to smuggle illegal drugs through security. Props to these five foolish rubes for their dim yet entertaining creativity:
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